The End of an Era, Start of a New Chapter
Let's rip off the bandaid... I (Tamara) am announcing my retirement from boudoir photography! If you've been waiting to do a photoshoot at The Vixen Society studio, please read.
January, 2025 I will have run a brick and mortar boudoir studio for 15. I went full time with boudoir when I was 23 years old, and was enamored. It was my purpose, and I ran my business with a fire that no one could put out. I moved the studio from Kentucky, to Kansas City in 2012, where I started to become a true business owner and master my craft. Then in 2015 I moved the studio (and my little family) to Dallas. I hit my stride and grew more than I ever expected. After a few years in Dallas, I started hiring staff, I expanded to 2 buildings, and I opened a lingerie store. I felt like a "real business owner" finally.
But the one thing that isn't talked about enough in the creative entrepeneur world is burnout. When Covid hit I, like all other business owners, was terrified, so I panic-marketed on every platform I could. We became busier than I ever expected to be. We served over 550 women in the studio over the course of just 3 years. And on the surface, everyone thought I was unbelievably successful. But behind closed doors I was having breakdowns, felt hopeless, lost friends, and was an overworked shell of myself. The only thing keeping me afloat was knowing I was making a difference for women, and seeing the happiness on their faces. But I completely stopped creating for myself, and only picked up my camera for clients. I boasted "I consider myself 80% business owner, 20% photographer.", which at the time I thought was good.... until it wasn't.
In June, 2023 I booked myself a trip to Italy where 3 formidable female photography educators were teaching a "photography workshop". I booked this workshop because I knew 2 of the educators, and I saw that they had all stopped taking clients about a year or so before this. Dealing with burnout was going to be one of the classes, along with self value, and I knew I needed help. I almost didnt even bring my camera because I was in such a negative headspace. I truly only attended because I wanted to hear the educators' journeys and their processes to get back to a place of peace & purpose. Within the first 30 minutes of the main educator, Sue Bryce, speaking, I was bawling and gasping for air (don't worry, I wasn't wailing and distracting the class). My friends looked across the room and thought they were going to have to put me on a ventilator. After hearing all 3 women- Sue Bryce, Kara Marie, and Teri Hofford, talking about the expectations they had burneded themselves with, I started coming to some VERY hard realizations about my habits. My motivations behind running my businesses the way I was, and pushing myself so hard was for other people. I thought I needed to prove to my family that I was "not just a silly little artist". I didn't want to be the joke at Thanksgiving being called "the family pornographer". But in doing that, I lost myself, and I stopped creating for creativity's sake. My true identity- ARTIST - was shrinking away.
When I got back home after Italy, I sat down and had a few heavy conversations with Emma (our head Vixen photographer) and my husband. They knew how stressed I had been and wanted to help. We came up with a game plan for me to start stepping back from taking clients as much so I could run my business moreso in a way that worked for me. So I could breathe. And Emma was more than capable, and excited to photograph all of the boudoir sessions.
Between June, 2023 and now, I have been completely rediscovering myself as an artist. Or better yet, finding the new, happier, more creative version of myself. It's taken a lot of hard work, full of difficult discussions with myself. Now, since I don't have anything to prove to anyone, and I am almost (we're ever-evolving) completely solid in who I am, I've come to conclusion that it's time for my next chapter. I have always loved organizing people, teaching, speaking in front of small-medium groups of people, so the decision to get into photography education was a no-brainer. I no longer have any toxic feelings of competition or isolation, and I truly just want to see others thrive.
Another thing I've also started to lean into is my art. I hid my Fine Art Nudes in Nature work away and barely shared it because I thought it wouldnt bring money in, so it wasn't worth it. But through healing, I've embraced how much joy it brings me. So I will also be working on getting my work into galleries and exhibitions!
Following your truth and your passions is always something I have advocated for in OTHER women, but it's time I do it for myself. Now, don't get me wrong, I still LOVE boudoir photography because of what it does for women, and I will be teaching it to other photographers, but my journey running a brick & mortar client-focused studio is over. And the great thing is, if I ever changed my mind, I can start taking clients again when I'm ready.
So what does this mean for The Vixen Society? Mid-January, 2025, in just 2 months, we will be closing our doors. I know it's very soon, but to be transparent, I've been hanging on too long and have felt uneasy about announcing this. It's hard making such a big change from the thing I've done for 40-60 hours a week for the past 15 years! Studio boudoir has been my life for almost all of my adult years. The name and The Vixen Society legacy is up in the air right now, and I am trying to figure out the best way for it to carry on without me, but that will happen in due time. (The business is for sale, and I would love to see a passionate woman take it and make it her own. So if you are interested, please reach out to me at info@tamarapaskeyalexander.com. The studio space is also available to lease.)
I would be remiss if I didn't thank the thousands of women who have graced my studio and stood in front of my lens vulnerable and then transformed. It's been a HUGE honor to be trusted by so many types of women to help boost their confidence. I'm going to keep doing that, just in a slightly different way.
With all my love,
Tamara
**Have you wanted to book a boudoir shoot with Emma? Or have you wanted a portrait session, boudoir, or fine art nudes with Tamara? Well, now is your last chance!
Remaining Dates for Emma: Dec. 12th & 20th
Remaining Dates for Tamara: Dec. 20, 27, & 30; Jan. 2, 3, 7, 8, 9, 10
Keep up with Tamara's Fine Art work at https://instagram.com/tamarapaskeyalexander
Keep up with Tamara's Photography Education at https://instagram.com/tamarapaskeyeducation
