A Woman’s Quest for Body Confidence
The radiant Ms. A, first walked through our studio doors several years ago. Her initial visit, filled with a mix of excitement and nervous anticipation, was the beginning of a transformative journey towards self-acceptance and empowerment. Her story is an inspiring tale of how a simple desire evolved into a profound, life-changing experience.
Ms. A’'s adventure with self-empowerment began during her years in South Korea, finishing her degree and teaching English. Surrounded by mountains, she discovered her love for hiking and mountain climbing. Because of this activity for which she discovered an affinity, she felt that she was the most fit that she had ever been in her life - and it didn't even feel like work to maintain this level of fitness, because she absolutely adored climbing a new mountain every chance that she got. Upon returning to Texas it was abundantly clear that mountains were much less accessible, but she attempted to remain active. “I wasn't mountain-climbing fit anymore, and I lost the ample glutes I obtained in the course of all my mountain exploits, but I still felt pretty good about my body and my level of fitness. And then...the pandemic,” Ms. A explains. “I started working from home, I stopped going out, I stopped using our HOA's gym, and so on. I still walked our dogs every day (still do!) without fail, and every once in a while I would still go hiking (albeit masked), but my level of activity plummeted seemingly overnight, and as Covid stretched out over months and then years and I continued to work from home and limit my outdoor activity, my body began to change. I gained a lot of weight and was now living in a body that was the heaviest it had ever been, and I felt...awful about myself. Undesirable, even though I was in my first relationship ever with the man who would become my husband. Ugly and undeserving of the love he showed me unconditionally. Reluctant to be featured in photographs even though living in South Korea had instilled in me a rabid love of selfies. So I went looking for a photoshoot experience.”
Ms. A embarked on a quest to rediscover herself, but she wasn't seeking a typical photoshoot. *
“As I perused different boudoir galleries, I found that I didn't want to just feel 'pretty' for a few moments and then come home with some nice pictures. I wanted to feel empowered, I wanted to feel sexy, and most important of all, I wanted to feel better about inhabiting my own body,”
*Ms. A describes. “So I refined my search still further, looking for a photographer with a keen eye for eliciting the beauty of all manner of different bodies, and for a sense of a particular ethos involving the empowerment and the emotional/spiritual building up of women. (Honestly, I was also looking for a studio that included hair, makeup, and a lingerie closet, because I cannot do my own hair or makeup and have no lingerie nor any idea of where to start looking/buying for the body type I have - and my boobs are HUGE, which further complicates the issue.) The one and only studio that espoused these values, possessed a photographer who CLEARLY knew what they were doing, and offered a dedicated hair/makeup artist + a body-inclusive lingerie closet was The Vixen Society (then Paskey Boudoir).”
Although the cost initially gave Ms. A s pause, she recognized the importance of investing in herself and regaining self-confidence. “...The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I work extremely hard, I frequently give more of myself than I actually have to offer, I take care of my family, and I deserve to have this experience and to invest in feeling good about myself in a powerful and lasting capacity. So I called Tamara back and I booked my shoot, because what I felt I needed and what The Vixen Society offered were one and the same.”
It was during the very first shoot that we realized that Ms. A’s journey with The Vixen Society was 100% about personal empowerment and self-love, rather than capturing images for a special occasion or her partner. It was a "self-love pilgrimage" as she playfully describes it. From her first contact the day of her shoot, Azure felt welcomed, valued, and comfortable. Tamara and LaDonna, our owner and makeup artist, created an atmosphere that was akin to reuniting with old friends. Ms. A shared, "it felt very much like I had just come to catch up with them." This camaraderie helped ease her anxiety, even in the somewhat unconventional setting of a lingerie closet. “And that was all before the actual shoot,” Ms.A continues. “Once the shoot started, Tamara continued to make me feel right at home, even while I was contorting my body into all manner of bizarre and challenging poses (they are worth the strangeness and the effort, I promise). And more than that, she was constantly telling me how fabulous and amazing and gorgeous I looked - and it didn't feel canned, or like she was saying it out of habit or just to make me feel good. You could really feel that she meant it, and as a result, it made me feel...so, so good. Truly, she made me feel just as powerful and glamorous as it turned out I would look in the finished photos.”
Subsequent sessions with Emma Jaye, our studio's primary photographer for boudoir sessions, only reinforced her positive experiences. Ms.A appreciated the consistent care and attention the entire team provided, ensuring she felt comfortable and beautiful throughout the shoot.
“They will check in with you every step of the way to make sure you're doing okay, they will guide you through each and every pose with patience and poise, they will shower you with deserved and effusive praise, and they will make you feel like you've known each other forever, so whatever nerves you may bring with you will fade fast. I always leave feeling galvanized and looking AWESOME, and it is worth it every single time,”
Although Ms. A acknowledges that her battles with body image challenges are not entirely resolved, she has a remarkable resource at her disposal—The Vixen Society Community and the gallery of boudoir photos. These resources serve as a reminder of the self-healing journey that we have been through together. “I've definitely struggled with body image - always, it feels like. I've always been a little stockier, a little /rounder/ than a lot of other women in my life, and because we are sold a pervasive fiction that there is an 'ideal body shape' at literally every pass for our entire lives, and because there is an entire, multi-faceted industry wrapped around ensuring we don't feel good about ourselves, so we will invest virtually all of our emotional and financial capital in 'fixing' ourselves, I feel like it's almost impossible NOT to have developed body issues - about my arms, about my stomach, about my thighs and my height and my butt and my...well, everything. But especially after I gained so much weight over the past few years when I had previously been so active and at least gaining some traction in feeling good about my appearance, I was really, really struggling with my self-image going into my first shoot,” Ms. A explains.
“After the shoot, of course, a lot changed, and drastically. Most of the lingerie I wore in that first shoot didn't really cinch me in or hide any of my 'flaws,' so to speak, and the photo retouching that occurs post-shoot didn't slim me down or attempt to hide the reality of my body, either (other than a little choice 'smoothing,' heh heh) - but still, I felt amazing, looking at myself in the mirror all dolled up and sexified in clothing I had never worn before, and when I saw the pictures? I couldn't believe how INCREDIBLE I looked. I couldn't stop staring at myself in captivated wonder. And the images I was seeing - they were me. Me in makeup with a glam hairstyle, but otherwise pure, unadulterated me. It wasn't just my hair and face that looked good - all of me did. My body looked good -- fantastic, even. I went home from the shoot practically vibrating with excitement, and I went home from the ordering appointment grinning from one ear to clear across the freaking planet.I have NEVER felt so good about myself, and it helped me gain a little perspective, a little insight. I felt proud of my body for the first time in a long, long time, and so thrilled that it was mine, because good gottDAMN did I look fire…
And anytime I start feeling really low, all I need to do is pull up my gallery of boudoir photos (or book another shoot!) and remind myself that the body I inhabit is not awful or ugly or disgusting or in any way repellent, as the ceaseless media barrage insists: I have seen the truth of it, laid literally bare. No, the body I inhabit is shapely, and voluptuous, and absolutely fucking STUNNING. That is the power of this experience: tangibly showing you your own worth and beauty.”
Ms. A’s journey with The Vixen Society is a reminder that self-love and self-acceptance are powerful tools for personal growth. Her experience illustrates how a boudoir photoshoot can serve as a path to self-love, helping individuals shed their insecurities and embrace their unique beauty, one photograph at a time. And for those contemplating a boudoir photoshoot, Ms. A offers simple yet compelling advice: "Just pull the trigger. If you're going to save up for a big, wonderful something for yourself, THIS is the thing. If you're thinking of investing in a worthwhile, transformative experience now, THIS IS THE EXPERIENCE. If you're looking to indulge in a radical act of self-love, book a shoot with The Vixen Society asap!”
